Life List

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In the beginning, we begin with our hopes and dreams. (At least those things of which we are aware that we long for. Sometimes, we truly long for deeper things than what we think we need.) So, here is my Top Ten List of the most important things I would like to see change in my marriage. (They are not in order of priority, just the order that they came to me.) Keeping it real...

• Better sexual intimacy
• An increased sense of partnership in our marriage
• A strong spiritual fire our relationship
• That we would have fun together
• Regular time together, just the two of us
• A husband and father who is a leader of the family—and that I would let him lead
• Much better home-keeping on my part
• Deep and close personal relationships with a few other Christian couples, sharing community along the journey
• An absence of a critical spirit towards my husband
• A husband with a profession that he enjoys and a wife who is not under pressure to provide income

As I ponder this list, I wonder whether and how it may change after I’ve been nourished on God’s priorities and promises in His Word. The Scripture transforms our very inner being, even what we long for...it will be fascinating to revisit this list further down the road of this journey and see if my “Top Ten” changes.

It's tempting to thirst for an ideal (like a Top Ten list) and mistake the things longed for as ends in themselves. Really, growth in marriage, or in any area of life, is the fruit of becoming...becoming all that God has created us and redeemed us to be. There is a natural and inevitable link between being and doing...and while both can lead to the other, the best is when the former leads to the latter. Improvements are things, growth is the process of becoming.

I don't just ask, Lord, that You improve my marriage. Instead, grow me, Lord Christ. Plant, water, prune...then let the fruit (super)naturally fill my life as a sign of Your abundant blessing. Let me not merely seek the fruit (a better marriage), but yield to Your planting, dying in the soil as I die to self, and then rise, changed, to greet the sun and air, resplendent with the fruit of Your Spirit.

Yes, that is truly my Top One list. Forever.